Empty Girlfriend

Your Empty Galpals are delivering a legit treat to you ear-buds, your mind's eye & your heart's aorta, this week Los Angeles comedian Erin Lampart is here to bring your weary li'l hearts some Christmas Cheer & heap loads o' ooey gooey love advice. Erin started with a 5 year relationship then weaned her way to 3 and almost got eaten my empty void of the often loveless Los Angeles dating scene for 6 years -- only to come out TRIUMPHANT with "the one"<3 She fucking did it. She's the definition of joy & her presence is overwhelmingly hopeful and full of life. Enjoy this gift! THERE NO WAY YOU CAN'T IF YOU JUST GIVE *CHRISTMAS A CHANCE! And by *Christmas, we mean the Love Light of Lampart (which may in fact be BETTER than Christmas *oh shit!*) We love you. You're gonna love Erin. Follow her on Twitter & instagram at @ThatsSoLampy and if you're in L.A. catch her weekly show 'Sauce' at DeSano Pizza for a goddamn dope-ass show. 

Direct download: EG_ErinLampy_v1.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 1:37pm MDT

Haley (EG Mommy) & Christie (EG Daddy) sometimes have difficulty finding the time to Podcast together in the midst of killing both the Denver & Los Angeles comedy scenes, so this week Mommy hosts solo with our guest. Haley managed to grab the self-proclaimed "King of Open Mics & the Aquatics section of the Petco on Hollywood & Western" DARRELL DIBLER again to talk one-on-one about finding love despite the dangers of flirting and pregnancy, how to express subtle love-confessions over the internet, and Darrell gives Haley a real come-to-Jesus moment with his own rendition of the Empty Girlfriend Podcast SANS HALEY. Enjoy the endless weirdness that is Darrell Dibler & please do get a head-start on getting your restraining order if you see him loitering around your neighborhood a little too often. Follow him on Twitter at @diblerdarrell, feel free to add him on Facebook, and he always loves a personal e-mail check-in or b-day party invite via e-mail at darrelldibler@aol.com <3 Much love to you Empty Gals & Guys & Everything in-between.

Direct download: EGFDarrellDiblerpt2_FINAL.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:37pm MDT

This week on Empty Girlfriend we have an extra special import from the south comedian, Mike Hawkburns, to melt your hearts with his southern drawl. On this episode we talk about what it means to be Memphis as fuck, we talk about moving to another state for a relationship, and we talk about breaking up in the midst of a comedy festival. Due to tech diffies Haley shows up in the middle to put the cherry on top of a pretty sweet episode. Follow Mike on social media @mrmikehawkburns. This episode will make you catch feels and set your loins ablaze. Enjoy!

Direct download: MyCockBurns_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:01pm MDT

This week we have the loveliest of the lovelies & the feistiest of feisty, hilarious Denver comedian RACHEL WEEKS! We get down & nasty about what to do in the work place when sexual harassment starts showing it's gross head, how to inform those who aren't fully aware of Feminism as an important reality, and we ease into letting your true love walk into your life with ease. Rachel is becoming big real fast in the comedy world so be sure to follow her on Twitter & instagram at @rachelgweeks and catch her incredible comedy with the Pussy Bros. comedy shows in Denver and throughout the Colorado comedy scene (and beyond) Stay strong & keep loving EGF'fers. We love you so much.

Direct download: EGFWeeksFINAL_v1.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 5:06pm MDT

This week we bring you another compilation of our favorite segment Obscure Sexual Fantasies with some of our favorite past guests! This episode features an OSF from Justine Marino (@JustineMachine), Greg Baumhauer (@GBaumhauer), Dr. Kevin Fitzgerald, Amber Tozer (@ambertozer) check out her new book Sober Stick Figure here, and Adrian Mesa (@mesadilla)! If you haven't listened to EG before this is a great place to start! Be careful, might be too sexy.

 


We take care of your emotional questions but check out our sponsors latitudefinancialatemptygirlfriend.com to get all your money questions answered!

Direct download: OSF3_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:18am MDT

Episode 83: Clare O'Kane

This week we have LA sweetheart, and Denver favorite Clare O'Kane! We discuss how to survive and stay positive in a new city and we discuss the C-word at LENGTH. You can check out Clare on twitter @babysfirstgun and on the first season of Flophouse on Viceland. Check out Clare's upcoming shows on her website. Enjoy Clare, we do! 

 

We take care of your emotional questions but check out our sponsors latitudefinancialatemptygirlfriend.com to get all your money questions answered! 

Direct download: ClareOFinal_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:00am MDT

This week we have the wonderful/amazing/sensual Matthew Blood-Smyth! He's an old friend of ours and the majority of our previous guests, and we got into the NASTIEST of nasties in this episode. We discuss what you should do when your partner can't sleep in the same bed as you, what it's like to love in a murdery way, love languages in different languages, exploring Polyamory and Matthew delivers the heartiest obscure sexual fantasy yet. He's in Wide Eyed Productions show, "theMumblings," a dark comedy by Dan Kitrosser, directed by Kristin Skye Hoffmann, playing until October 8th! Matthew's one of the most talented actors we know, and one of the sexiest voices we've had on the Podcast yet. Enjoy this sweet, sexy baby listeners!

Direct download: EGBLOODTAKE2.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 5:38pm MDT

Christie & Haley have come a loooooong way with their Love & Relationships Podcast Empty Girlfriend, but they've come even further with their LOVE connection. It's said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that's exactly what happened when Haley moved to Los Angeles about 2 years ago, leaving Christie in Denver, CO. The Empty Gals have had to work on their long-distance romance skills, and although it's been no walk in the park, they've managed to let their hearts get fonder and fonder until they've become what they are now; a smoldering globule of one, unified heart blob. This is a compilation episode of all the new L.A. friends Haley and Christie have made along the long & windy road of their friendship via this podcast. We start with the last EGF in the Colorado Podcastuary with Chris Charpentier, then we follow Christie & Haley through Vegas while moving Haley to Hollywood, and feature wonderful L.A comedian guests Madison Davis, Darrell Dibler, Danielle Perez, Madison Shepard, Olivia Haidar, Kate Lindstet, Caitlin Gill, Rachele Friedland, James Fritz, Eric Dadourian, Miles K. Stenehjem and Katie Low Standberg. Enjoy EGF'ers! We live for you! And we love for ALL!! Thank you so much, everybody. <3

Direct download: Episode81WereDoingItPeter.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 2:13pm MDT

In honor of our friend Jordan Wieleba who we will miss very much we decided to re-release her episode this week. This was our third episode ever recorded and our most listened to EG. Ironically, or maybe poetically, this is also the episode we were remembering Robin Williams at his passing. Thank you for taking the time to get to know an amazing person. 

Notes: We mentioned a song written for Jordan in our intro. That song can be heard here

Featured Music:

Earth Angel by The Penguins

Trans Soul Rebel by Against Me

Sponsors: EG isn't just about love quips. We finally have some life tips! Please check out Latitude Financial Group to get tips on all your financial needs. Figure out new ways to minimize your expenses. Discuss how to balance having fun today and being fiscally responsible for the future. Set up a free meeting at www.emptygirlfriendatlatitude.com!

Direct download: JordanReRelease.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 3:39am MDT

The Empty Gals took a brief break, but that doesn't mean we've BROKEN UP! NEVER! We're back and firing on ALL love cylinders with our amazing guest, the one and only, John Novosad. Though most of us know him as, HIPPIEMAN! We got to chat with this beloved Comedy Works headliner, and cherished Boulder comedy guru about the intricasies involved with the expectations of marriage, keeping that long distance love connection going during road comedy touring, dealing with divorce, and the H-Man delivers another incredible Obscure Sexual Fantasy which trumps his seemingly untrumpable Obscure Sexual Fantasty from last year's Live Empty Girlfriend recording. Hippieman has won several Comedy comeptitions and has appeared on National Television on shows like The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Fall in love with him & catch him at the Comedy Works or the Boulder Comedy show sometime, he's the BEST. Twitter: @HippiemansPlan, website: hippieman.com

 

 

Direct download: HMANEgffff.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 2:00pm MDT

 
 
 
There's no way to prepare you for this week's episode, Empty Gals n' Guys...we took a journey into the deepest depths of emptiness with our guest & she saved us by screaming FRIENDSHIP into the void! Katie Low Strandberg is a phenomenal L.A. comedian and the beacon of light & joy that will rescue your heart. We venture into the intricate world of co-dependence & how to give & give and GIVE 'till it's all GONE with Miss Low. It only gets sillier & sillier from there. Follow Katie on Instagram & Twitter at @ktlowstrandberg & catch her mind-blowing one-woman show "Co-Dependence Day" next time she tours L.A.! Enjoy lovers & friends!
 
 
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Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:16am MDT

Prepare to free your mind & unleash your libedo on this week's tantalizing episode with Miles K Stenehjem! Miles is a hilarious Los Angeles based comedian via San Francisco who's TV show pilot 'Roygbiu' just got SOLD. HELL YES! This week we discuss the value of therapy & perspective for all genders, the weird & wonderful ways we all lead each other on (intentionally or not), and the cultural restraints of expressing love and connecting through sexuality. Follow Miles on Twitter, instagram & snapchat at @NotMilesK and look out for his Super Deluxe pilot! This kid's gonna be BIG baby! HOLLYWOOD BIG!!!

Direct download: EGMilkesK_2.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:49pm MDT

We're going to break your heart open so you can finally taste the sweet piñata candies of true love this week with our wonderful, oh so sweet guest, the hilarious L.A. comedian Eric Dadourian! We get in deep with discussing the raging libedos & insatiable heartaches of our younger selves, the tricky sticky traps involved with being a serial monogamist, and what it means to be a service-dog lover. Follow this sweet baby on Twitter & instagram at @ericdadourian and catch his comedy as we travels the United States, sharing his joy with the world.

Direct download: EGDadourianF.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:23pm MDT

Is your heart aching for a giggle and a romantic sigh? Well we've got JUST what you're yearning for with our favorite teddy bear, lady lover man, comic genius James Fritz! We were beyond delighted to explore Mister Fritz's Empty Gal nature & he was BEYOND delightful. We'd invite him back to the EGF sleep-over ANY time because he took us on an unforgettable rollercoaster of vulnerability <3 Follow his incredible comedy at @fritzisdead on instagram at @jamesfritzcomic & make sure to catch one of his shows in L.A. or when he's touring in a city near you!

Direct download: FritzFinal_Mixdown_2.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:07am MDT

Greetings Empty Girlfrienders! For our 75th episode we bring one of our most exciting friends out of the woodworks to talk life and love or lack thereof. This week Christie sits down with Josh Blue (Last Comic Standing, HBO, Comedy Central) to talk about enjoying the fruits of celebrity, ending a marriage amicably, and we explore what exactly happens at a Native American Pow-wow. Josh also has some hot tips on how to pick up women at the air port. Follow Josh @joshbluecomedy or check out his website for upcoming tour dates. Most importantly check out his new special 'DELETE' releasing digitally on July 26th! Enjoy! 

Direct download: JoshFinal_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:51am MDT

Surrender your sweet, gentle earbuds to the surprisingly bitting, yet disarmingly sweet, Rachele Friedland! This week's episode is a very intimate slumber-party-like conversation, just L.A. comedian Rachele & Haley in her L.A. apartment (since Mommy (Haley) & Daddy (Christie) can't see each other as much as they'd like due to their work schedules). Don't worry, Mommy & Daddy aren't getting a divorce. Rachele & Haley discuss divorce, expectations within relationships, when to say "I LOVE YOU AHHH I'M SORRY", and how to tell when you're being a BITCH or not -- it's a giggly good time (obviously channeling Christie's spirit energy). Enjoy the soothing sounds of the hilarious & charming, Rachele Friedland and follow her on Twitter at @Rachele_F and on instagram at @rachelefriedland WE LOVE TO LOVE LOVE!
Direct download: RacheleFinal_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:00am MDT

I know we say this every week but this week is truly a special episode. This week we have the best comedy writer in Denver (according to Christie, so you know its true), Brad Galli! If you haven't heard of him it's because he hung up the mic over a year ago. In an attempt to get him back Empty Girlfriend sits down with Brad to talk about his break-up with comedy and what life looks like without the lights and sting of the stage. Please enjoy one of the funniest people in Denver, and god damn it Galli, come back! Check out Galli's tweets on the most un-beloved teams in the MLB on twitter @bradicalgalli. Enjoy little babies! 

Direct download: BradGalliFinal_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:13am MDT

We are razzled & dazzled to bring the Empty Girlfriends BACK TOGETHER AGAIN IN COLORADO IN THE FLESH! Love brought Haley back to D-town from L.A. (for a beautiful wedding::Sam & Emily Tallent-Oprish! Congrats!) And there's no better time to bring you one of the founding Pussy Posse members, and one of Denver's finest stand-up comics, originally from L.A., and now all over Colorado & National Comedy stages, we bring you Janae Burris!! We get real deep with Miss Burris this week as we get into the topics of being trapped in a toxic relationship in hopes you'll be able to fix it, long undercover Lady break-ups, and an obscure sexual fantasy that will leaving your reevaluating what sex & fantasies even mean. Catch Janae at The Comedy Works Downtown, The Improv, all over the country hitting up big Comedy Festivals, get her Pussy Posse shows in your google calendar & follow her on Twitter & instagram at @negativenegro and follow her on Facebook for show updates. We're in love with you! Enjoy the giggles & tears!!

Direct download: JanaeBurrisFinal_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:53pm MDT

This week we have a very special episode for you eg-fers. We are excited to celebrate the marriage of two previous guests this week; Sam Tallent and Emiliy Oprish! Your Empty Girlfriends finally worked to bring two people together, not tear them apart! Listen to how EG helped to encourage an engagement, enjoy some of our favorite comics as they talk about marriage, and get a few stories from Christie's Grandparents up top regarding their weddings. Listen up! This is probably the most adorable episode we will ever do. To Sam and Emily: I hope your kids stumble across this one day and smile about how their parents love each other even more now than you did back then.

Direct download: SamandEmily_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 2:37am MDT

This week we had the honor and the pleasure of getting down, deep & dirty with the one & only THE Grandma of comedy, the lovely Caitlin Gill as seen on Flophouse on Viceland, the Oddball Comedy Tour, the Outside Lands Festival, SF Sketchfest, Bridgetown Comedy Festival just to name a few. Caitlin is a proud cat owner, a hilarious L.A. based comedian crusher, and she gets real vulnare erable real fast and we, as eternal Empty Girlfriends, EAT IT UP! And we know you will too. We talk self-image and self-talk, and learning to be with people who respect you for who you and who you want to be. Make sure to follow Caitlin on Twitter at @ROBOTCAITLIN and at Instagram at @caitlinistall vist her website here: www.caitlingillcomedy.com and check out her show CRABAPPLES with Bobcat Goldhwait every Tuesday at 10pm at the Hollywood Improv Lab! Open your hearts and put in the earbuds, lovers!
Direct download: CaitlynGillFinal_Mixdown_2.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:54am MDT

WARNING: It's our BIG 69th EPISODE EMPTY-EG-EFFERS!! We did it! We're a real love & relationships (and mental illness?) comedy podcast now! We celebrate with a contender for the Emptiest Girlfriend on the show, Los Angeles Stand-Up comedian Kate Lindstedt! She's so darn lovely & charming & awkward & hilarious it'll make you puke (in a fun way). In this episode we discuss the ebbing & flowing desires of wanting everybody to like you, how much others' perception of you actually matters and what makes somebody a picky dater or not. Follow Kate on Twitter at @kmlindstedt & catch her comedy all over Los Angeles!
 
 

 

Direct download: KateLFinal.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 1:33am MDT

This week we bring you "one of the most mysterious men on the planet" as proclaimed by the Empty Girlfriends themselves. Very few things are certain about Zach Reinert, but what we do know is that he's a hilarious comedian from Omaha Nebraska, is now Denver-based, and that he's very loveable (despite the fact that he might also be a murderer). Zach's not used to talking about these kinds of things, so if you can hear uncomfort it will pierce your ears in this episode ♫ in the most delightful way ♫ Follow Zach on Twitter at @zachreinert03 & catch his shows!

Direct download: ReinertFinal_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:54am MDT

This week's episode is fraught with positive affirmations, coping mechanisms for dealing with rejection, the often tumultuous path of overcoming self-loathing and a crap ton of giggles in between; buckle up! Our wonderful guest, Olivia Haidar, enlightens the Empty Girlfriends with her insights on self-love, loving others, and the trials and tribulations of being a transgender comedian in Los Angeles. Her shining sense of humor & inspiring openness won us over immediately, and you're sure to be won as well. Follow her on Instagram & Twitter at @hitherehaidar and follow her Facebook for updates on her upcoming show! Enjoy babies!

Direct download: OliviaFinal_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:44am MDT

We are very honored to have fellow Westword Podcast award-winner and Pop Culture extraordinaire (not to mention badass DJ) Miss Taylor Gonda! Both the Empty Girlfriends have had the pleasure of being on her & Kevin O'Brien's amazing podcast These Things Matter (@TTM_Podcast) discussing why pop culture has changed our lives & now we grabbed Gonda for an incredible discussion on her ever-changing perspectives on love, sex and the sacred nature our cycles. We figured this would be the best time to have Taylor because this week is the These Things Matter Podcast's 4 year anniversary!!! Holy crap congratulations! Check out their live recording on Wednesday 4/13 @ 8pm at Buntport Theater ($5) & go to their Anniversary party on Friday 4/15 at 9pm ($7) at Syntax Physic Opera for an incredible time. Also make sure to follow sweet baby Taylor on Twtiter at @TaylorGonda & on Instagram at @shmayloresque.

Direct download: GondaFinal_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:03am MDT

Uh-oh! Watch out! We're bringing you the deepest, manliest voice of one of Denver's most lovable men & comedians, Mister Steve Vanderploeg! We venture into when it's appropriate or not to move in together, when to be chill & when not to be chill in relationships and how the Ploeg puts his foot down in comedy and in love. Follow Steve on Twitter & instgram @darthvanderploeg. And check out his show at Chain Reaction Brewery! Enjoy!
 
 
 
Direct download: PloegFinal.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:40pm MDT

Grab your crystals, align your chakras and get ready to cleanse your aura with the magical humor healing powers of the hilarious badass Madison Shepard. In this week's episode we talk about Christie's pants, owning your gender on stage, and Madison has a phenomenally presidential obscure sexual fantasy. Follow Madison on Twitter @MadisonShepard and on instagram @madison_shepard God Bless America!

Direct download: MadisonSHephardFinal_Mixdown_2.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:40am MDT

We have a really lovely episode for you this week, Empty Girl & Guy friends. Get your sweet baby earbuds ready for the wonderful & all around kickass L.A. comedian, Danielle Perez! We chat with Danielle about starting stand-up comedy, living & thriving with a disability, and how to get your man to be honest. Follow her on Twitter & Instagram @DivaDelux and catch her comedy all over sunny California!
Direct download: PerezFinal_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:32am MDT

We've got a weird one for you this week, Empty Girlfriends & Guyfriends. If you've never met Darrell Dibler get ready to hold onto your panties because this comic/petco-employee is going to make 'em drop, or at least make your fly come down on your pants a little. We role-play flirting with Darrell and discuss how to tap into your confidence even when you're so nervous you feel sick. Feel free to add Darrell on Facebook so you can follow his shows and keep up with his dance moves. He also implores everyone to e-mail him at darrell.dibler@aol.com if you'd like to hang out, although he can't stay in the sun for more than 1/2 an hour or drive in a car faster than 35mph. Enjoy Darrell everyone, he certainly enjoyed us!

Direct download: DarrellFinal_Mixdown_2.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:13am MDT

We are VERY excited to bring to you the lovely voice of one of Empty Girlfriend's & Denver's strongest & most beautiful friends and dearest comedians, Heather Snow! Heather had a helluva year starting a brand new relationship while also getting the news broken to her that she had Leukemia. We've been following Heather closely & adamantly supporting her #fuckcancer updates on facebook, and this week we listened in awe as she described undergoing intensive chemo treatment while ALSO maintaining a brand new relationship (holy CRAP what a BADASS) So join Christie, Haley and the incredible Miss Snow for a delightful episode and help us laugh in cancer's stupid face. Follow Heather on Twitter & instagram @sixfeetofsnow

Direct download: SnowFinal_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 3:13pm MDT

We're bringing you a helluva episode with maximum capacity giggles & guffaws. That's right! This week we have the hilarious Chicago-based comedian & show runner of the famous Lincoln Lodge show, Kristin Clifford! We get into the various ways we've metaphorically & literally ghosted on people, long D relationships & flings, and love expectations. Make sure to follow Kristin on Twitter @kristincliff and catch her comedy around Chicago, on Fridays at the Lincoln Lodge & throughout the U.S.! We love you!

Direct download: CliffordFinal_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:27am MDT

We've got our FIRST L.A. EPISODE hot & fresh out the kitchen, li'l love listeners! This week we bring you a hilarious comic originally from Wilmington North Carolina, and now Haley's neighbor in East Hollywood, Miss Madison Davis! In this episode we get into adventures of peeing the bed, how to deal with sneaky liars and we play with (talk about) death and roofies. Follow Madison on Twitter at @bageldogging and get hip to her insta at @secretagentpussypants Listen up for a lovely day!!

Direct download: MadisonFinal_Mixdown_1.output.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:30am MDT

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